Friday, February 10, 2012

How to Fail: The Self-Hurt Guide by Aaron Goldfarb @aarongoldfarb

How to Fail: The Self-Hurt Guide
"How to Fail" is the world's FIRST Self-Hurt Guide, the polar opposite of a self-help guide. "How to Fail" follows the misadventures, misgivings, and massive mistakes of Stu Fish as he tries to find success in New York City. This satirical novel includes such hilarious chapters as:

Chapter One: How to Fail to Write a Cohesive Introduction
Chapter Two: How to Fail to Not Get Mistaken For a Bum
Footchapter Two: How to Go Insane and Garner Voices in Your Head Chapter Three: How to Fail to Make Your Parents Proud of You
Footchapter Three: How to Fail to Write Commercial Material
Chapter Four: How to Fail to Do Something Productive All Day
Footchapter Four-A: How to Develop an Addiction
Footchapter Four-B: How to Masturbate at Work
Chapter Five: How To Fail to Live in a Healthy Environment
Footchapter Five-A: How to Locate and Find Yourself Paying Rent to a Slumlord
Footchapter Five-B: How to Have Fucked-Up Neighbors
Chapter Six: How to Fail in Love
Footchapter Six-A: How to Get Usurped By Your Girlfriend's Ex
Footchapter Six-B: How to Have a Sordid Past
Chapter Seven: How to Fail All the Way to Rock Bottom
Chapter Eight: How to Live on a Couch
Footchapter Eight: How to Avoid Your Ex in a Small Town
Chapter Nine: How to Fail to Extend Your Family Tree
Footchapter Nine: How to Fail in Bed
Chapter Ten: How to Get Laid on a Couch
Footchapter Ten: How to Acquire the STD That's Right for You
Chapter Eleven: How to Be Haunted by Demons
Footchapter Eleven-A: How to Be Aimless and Uninspired
Footchapter Eleven-B: How to Piss People Off, Alienate Yourself, and End Up Alone
Chapter Twelve: How to Have a Negative Net and Self-Worth
Footchapter Twelve: How to Network
Chapter Thirteen: How to Fail to Be Normal
Footchapter Thirteen-A: How to Be a Hypochondriac Without Health Care
Footchapter Thirteen-B: How to Grow Apart From Your Friends
Chapter Fourteen: How to Fail to Fail
Epilogue: How to Write a Successful Book and Become Rich There's not an aspect of life that "How to Fail" doesn't tackle and offer a terrific non-solution for! All delivered in perfect single serving-size chapters for a modern A.D.D. culture more used to reading blog entries on their phones while riding the subway than in carefully reading a book.

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